Really, that isn't just the title. Where could I possibly begin?? This has been the week from hell. When I think that things are looking up, I overanalyze and turn myself into a wreck. Let's start with the house since that is the most depressing and I want to get it out of the way. Aside from a bazillion showings, no one wants our house. I keep hearing the same thing. It's beautiful, but... the kitchen is too small, ect, ect. Nothing big, nothing we can control. The realtor just emailed me with the feedback. Everyone loves it but there is always something. Now, the lawn is starting to look yucky. Spring has sprung and there isn't anyone to take care of the lawn. The sprinkler system can be turned on but we don't have anyone to do it. The realtor offered and I accepted but it can be tricky. If only I could be there for an hour and do all of the little things that need to be done. I am willing to wait for the offer but there are going to be things that come up like this. Once the sprinkler is on, the lawn will need to be mowed. The place probably needs some fresh air. I don't need the added stress. I don't want to drop the price any more. I think it is worth the price but the economy sucks. I'm not going to argue politics but if anyone is trying to find a job, sell a home, drive a vehicle or feed their families, it is pretty obvious. Unfortunately for us, we're trying to do all of the above! I just want to cry. OK, enough of the house blues. I just makes me wonder if I did the right thing...
Yes, I said "if I did the right thing" not "if we did the right thing." I take full credit for the sad state of affairs. Yes, Jon and I agreed to move but it was with my persistence. I swore up and down that it would be great for us. "We should be close to family", "We can get great, high paying jobs", "We can buy a wonderful house for our family and our future." Who was I kidding? I have been trying so hard to keep a positive attitude but I'm losing my strength. Jon has a great job that has potential for big things. He could have done the same in Denver. Should we have left? I got a job today (more about that later) but could I have done the same in Denver? Probably. Family means so much to me but is it worth the risk? The risk that seems more and more like a failure. Don't get me wrong. I love seeing everyone and that is the least of my sadness. Gambling is so unlike me. I like to have everything completely mapped out. This gameplan seems to have had too much emotion and not enough common sense. The market is bad, we can't sell our house. The market is bad, no one is hiring for anything really worth much. The cost of living in NY is high and seems to be getting higher with all the problems.
I need to pause and mention that this is a vent and is sounding more and more pathetic as I continue but I need to get it out.
OK, on to the job situation. I have been looking for a job with little success for about 6 weeks now. The recruiters are stacking their lists of candidates for the market turn their hoping for. This doesn't help anyone who is looking for a job. I mentioned in a previous post (I think) about a job as an auditor which had a lot of travel. I didn't get the job as the auditor but they thought enough of me to recommend me for another job in the company. The position is as the business manager of the technology division. The interview was scheduled for yesterday. I should mention that I was feeling horrible on Monday and I wasn't much better yesterday. My ears were bothering me, I was running a fever and my head was horribly congested. Right before I started getting ready for the interview, I received a call from Pepsi. I had applied for a position as a finanical analyst and they wanted to a quick phone interview. Despite feeling like crap, I must have done well enough that they wanted to meet me next Friday. I accepted. I got off the phone and went to my interview at Mediacom (the business manager). I was definitely not myself but I met with a couple of the big wigs at the company and I couldn't find my brain. I must have done OK because they called and made an offer this morning. I would be working for the Senior Vice President of Technology as his business manager doing all of the budgeting, forecasting, and financial analysis for the division. It really does sound like a great job but... the offer is less than I was hoping for. What do I do now? I told them I wanted to talk it over with my husband and get back to them. So I weigh my options. Do I wait to meet with Pepsi next week? Do I accept and turn down Pepsi? What to do, what to do? After a lot of soul searching and stuff I won't bore you with, I decided to accept the job. The job at Pepsi wasn't the position I was hoping it would be. I reviewed the job posting again and it seemed quite monotonous and boring. Yeah, great potential in the future but it is a bit of a commute and the salary they were discussing would be put directly into the commute. Mediacom is close and can give me great experience. Now I'm second guessing myself. Should I wait? The market is tough and I don't know when the next opportunity will present itself. We could really use the money and the salary is decent. They offer great benefits. I was hoping for more and came to NY with $$ in my eyes. After lots of conversation with Jon we came to the conclusion that this is a great opportunity for me. If this is a great opportunity why am I so conflicted? I'm getting such a "woe is me" attitude. Between the both of us we can make a good living and once we sell our house we'll be fine. We can afford to support ourselves and this could be the best scenario. I am having doubts. I haven't officially accepted yet but I have decided to accept the offer. I did make a counteroffer but they said that they couldn't change the offer.
OK, I'm done. I need to think happy thoughts and not worry about everything. It will all work out. It has to. At least I have a great support network of family and friends who seem to think that I'm capable of anything. Up until this point I have succeeded and pulled it off. Can my streak continue?
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2 comments:
OK, here are my two cents, for what they are worth (and with this economy, about a penny and a half!)--I think some decisions you make with your head and some with your heart. I know you and this was a 'heart' decision. You are someone that thrives from being surrounded by the people who love you and we (the people who love you!) are glad to have you near.
You are starting over here and the timing is tough, but you have to think long term and all of the stuff that is worrying you is short term. Yes, I had this same conversation with myself about 8 months ago. The house will eventually sell. You may lose money on it (we did). It will take you a long time to find a house out here. (but you will). You will get a job (see, you just did!) but it won't be perfect to start (but you will make it into what you want from it).
Basically, I am saying that I have supreme faith in you and that in the long term, you made a decision based on your heart and faith and you will make it through this.
There--I guess that was more like a buck and a half rather than two cents, but heck, I was always a bit wordy.
Every big decision gets second-guessed around here, so I know what you're thinking right now. Jenny's right, the long-term is going to be what makes this right...but it can be hard to see that when you've got all of the immediate short-term worries and concerns. We're going to lose money when we sell our house next year (please, please, please let us be moving closer to work next year), but we've already made the decision that it's better to lose $10K and sell it quickly than to keep paying the mortgage for a year or more. But I know, once we're actually in another house and trying to sell this one, that's a decision that I'll be second-guessing every single day.
Anyway, I know it will all work out and you'll be fine in NY, but it is stressful!
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